Declassified is held back first and foremost by its name. In fact its biggest problem isn’t a crime at all. These crimes aren’t Declassified’s biggest problem, though. The levels are ugly, the objectives simple, and the Horde Mode – forgive me, the Hostiles – is about as exciting as playing Jacks without the bouncy ball. Brilliant! Writing quality akin to a direct to DVD Universal Soldier sequel is always the high bar to which games should aspire. “No one gets fu**in’ left behind,” yells your CO. Each line of dialogue reinforces every negative stereotype about military-themed shooters. The incessant butt rock music that plays in the background during every campaign mission sounds like the generic noise you would hear in a radio commercial for ringtones circa 2002. Incredibly short - not counting all the cheap deathsĬall of Duty Black Ops: Declassified for PlayStation Vita commits a few crimes.
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